What is Abuse?

Abuse can take many forms including physical, emotional, sexual, psychological and economic. Any form of abuse can be devastating to a woman and can serve to erode her self-esteem and self-confidence. Abuse affects women of all cultures, ages, educational levels, socioeconomic backgrounds and sexual orientation.

It is crucial to understand that an abused woman is in no way responsible for the abuse. She is involved in a relationship with a partner who wants to maintain power and control over her.

An abuser is responsible for his own behaviour and chooses to use tactics which will maintain control in the relationship. Any behaviour that limits a person’s rights and/or freedom is abusive. Men who are abusive, often portray themselves as competent, caring individuals, in an effort to hide their true nature.

It is important to understand that abuse always escalates and can and often does result in death.

The most dangerous time for a woman is when she is attempting to leave the relationship or after she has left.

Emotional Abuse – the intent of emotional abuse is to gain power and control over the woman. Some of the tactics used to gain and maintain power and control over her are: name-calling, put downs, insults, ridicule, isolation, jealousy, mind games, and crazy making behaviour. Emotional abuse is a form of mind control. Emotional abuse is usually present along with all other forms of abuse. As a result of being emotionally abused, a woman can lose a sense of her own identity, her self-esteem and self-confidence. Emotional abuse is the most difficult identity and the most difficult to understand especially for the woman herself. The presence of emotional abuse is the largest risk factor and the greatest predictor of physical violence. Women can be just as much at risk of being killed by an emotionally abusive partner as by a partner who physically abuses them. Women themselves can also be suicidal as a result of experiencing long-term emotional abuse.

Physical Abuse – is the most obvious and may include biting, kicking, punching, burning, slapping, choking or physically restraining. It is a crime to physically assault any person whether it be a stranger or your partner. Physical abuse may also include the use of a weapon.

Psychological Abuse – may include threats to harm her and/or her children, her family, her friends, pets or anything she values. Included in this may be threats of suicide or threats with a weapon. The intent of psychological abuse is to instill fear in the victim.

Sexual Abuse – may include any form of unwanted touching or sexual behaviour. It can include rape, the withholding of sex as a punishment, sex after a beating, engaging in sexual activity with others outside of the relationship, and/or flaunting of partner’s sexual prowess outside of the relationship. It may include an obsession with pornography.

Economic Abuse – may involve not allowing her to work, not allowing her access to family income, giving her an allowance or withholding funds and forcing her to beg for money, or not providing the necessities of life. Even if a woman is allowed to work, her partner often controls the money and/or will find reasons to take her money away from her.

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